In which a werewolf howls in pain and brother feel
by Jente Bidernais
Summary: rest of the title: betrayedAbout pain caused by others


**Title: ****In which a werewolf howls in pain and brothers feel betrayed.**

**Summary: About pain caused by others.**

**Disclaimer: let's make a deal: I****'ll write, but don't own; you'll read, but don't sue.**

She had been kind to him, which surprised him. She had taken him to a seat and brought him something to drink. While sipping from his tea Remus Lupin couldn't stop thinking about what would come. He didn't know what would happen and that was the first time in his life that he didn't know something. He was eleven now. _A big boy. _He said to himself. _A big boy am I now. And big boys are not scared. It's time to be a big boy now, and big boys don't cry. _But it didn't matter how many times he told himself this; he _was_ scared to death and he _did _cry.

She had been kind to him, which surprised him. Normally a girl of Gryffindor wouldn't even _look _at him. And when they did it was always hatred, not with the sympathy _she _gave him. Needless to say, Regulus Black was confused. How could she know what he was and _not _hate him? God, even his own brother hated him! That was how it was meant to be. Gryffindor hated Slytherin, and Slytherin returned the favor, that was a rule. A rule _no one _was supposed to break. Not even when you were brothers with one of the other group. _Sirius. He just threw me away. When he found out he was in Gryffindor, he just started hating us, Slytherins, the group he should have been in. I'm not going to cry about you, brother. Cause we Slytherins don't show emotions. We slytherins DON'T cry._

She had been kind to him, which surprised him. She hated James, and for the fact James and Sirius Black were almost twin brothers, she should hate him too. But no, she didn't. Little Lilly Evans didn't allow herself to do something so _thoughtless _as hating someone because he was just like her enemy. Nothing was _ever _so easy with little Lilly Evans. She didn't hate him and she didn't hate those adders of slytherin either. While god knew very well that they _did_ deserve it. Little Lilly Evans didn't even hate that son of a bitch Regulus. _Regulus, just as much of a snake as the rest of that lot. Never even did so much as looking at me, when he discovered that I was a Griffoendor. Oh how I hate him. _Tears of frustration and anger came into one Sirius Blacks eyes.

* * *

_A little snake bit me,_

_Oh how it came out of the dungeons,_

_Nothing more worrisome for me,_

_Little child of the dragons._

* * *

He had been in deep thoughts when he was interrupted. "Follow me, please." The girl said. Her look of kindness had disappeared and looked now like pure boredom. Remus wondered if he hadn't been imagining things. The halls were white and empty. Fright swell in his throat. This was it, today they would register him as what he was and there would be no way to deny it. "_Werewolf" _they would say, and they would go and find the torches. "_Werewolf" _they would say, and scream and run and hide. Little Remus was frightened of them, frightened of himself and even more than that, frightened of the empty hallway in which their walk continued.

He had been in deep thoughts when he was interrupted. It had been another round of _'Sirius I hate thou's' _and _'die thou shall's', _when that little firstie walked into him. It was a _Griffoendor_. Regulus had him very frightened. _Easy they are, little firsties. And then griffoendors are supposed to be brave.. Ha! Don't make me laugh…. Just a bunch of mishaps, they are! Lions. The men are lazy and the wives stupid, because they listen to those lazy guys. No, then Slytherins. Maybe not so brave, but we've got our brains and street-wisdom. Sly beyond the obvious. Power beyond the world. We can walk the walk and talk the talk._

He had been in deep thoughts when he was interrupted. James had given him a pad on the back. "'Ey Black, what's bothering you mate? You think way too much! Haven't seen you so busy in the head in ages! It's not healthy, you should go being your own usual arse man. Come on, what's bothering you? " "Nothing. Jamesie? Wanna go to find and prank my dear brother? Come on James! We're gonna kick his bloody arse! That son of a bitch." James nodded, looking amused. "You know of course that you're the son of the same bitch…" Sirius rolled his eyes. "Isn't that Remus text or something? Where is he anyway?" "To the hospital, a good thing if you ask me. He is _way_ too thin. " Sirius nodded thoughtful and they walked their way to their dungeons.

_

* * *

_

_His poison is in me,_

_Destroying me from within,_

_And no one can protect me,_

'

* * *

He went into the room. When he saw the man with the white jacket his heart missed a beat. "Are you okay?" The man looked worried at Remus. _How can I be okay when you are going to mark me, make me outcast for the rest of my life? _"Yes, of course I am. What do you want me to do?" _Let me run out of here! I should run out of here! _"Sit down here, please." Remus sat down. The man took something and pushed it in the skin of his neck. It burned. It burned like _hell_. And he howled in pain. In the pain of being outcast for the rest of his life. In the pain of knowing he would be_ alone_ for the rest of his life. In the pain of being burned. The mark showed on the outside, but the real thing was underneath his skin.

He went into the room. Here he was, in the same empty classroom as he was in the first time he got beaten by Sirius. The very first time he noticed that he and Sirius didn't get along anymore. The first time that he got hit very badly, not only physically, but also mentally. He didn't tell no one who really did it; told them it was that bully of Griffoendor in sixth. He denied, but got the punishment anyway. _I covered for you, but you hated me. You hate me still. And now I DO hate you back. Would still cover for you though. I still love you. Even though it's the most painful thing I know. _Regulus had no marks on the outside, but there was pain under his skin.

He went into the room. When he had seen the classroom he hesitated. James had looked at him strangely. Just the way he had looked strangely at him that day. "Go." Sirius told him. James nodded and went. Sirius took a breath and went in there. There was Regulus, just like that day. "You are in Griffoendor." Had Regulus said that day. He didn't say it now. He just looked and Sirius looked back. No words said. Sirius turned and stormed out of the classroom. Tears came out of his eyes. There was no mark on the outside but there were many wounds on the inside.

* * *

_And it's like love,_

_And like broken families,_

_Like the pain you get from above,_

_And that no one ever sees._


End file.
